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iraq game
This is too bizarre. Check out America's new ally in Fallujah - former Republican Guard General Jasim Mohamed Saleh. DOES HE LOOK FAMILIAR???
Oh, the hate mail I was getting from Bush-lovers a year ago for suggesting the Iraqi army would be re-armed by the Americans to be used against insurgents. Ha Ha Ha!
It's worth playing the game again to see the following shots:
Rumsfeld: "We have rearmed the Iraqi army and they are ready to fight"
If only I had included the use of torture against Iraqi prisoners of war. Imagine the hate mail and the threats that would have generated from incredulous American patriots...
"A wise choice! You can always trust an Iraqi leader to follow orders from Washington!"
2004 April 28, Wednesday
A very polite piece of hate mail, from a Disney employee. A much better class of critic.
2004 April 22, Thursday
As promised, here is my latest animation offering. Anthrax Ice Cream!
2004 April 21, Wednesday
Stay tuned! I'll be posting a major new piece of animation in the next day or so!
2004 April 20, Tuesday
More links for ye:
2004 April 19, Monday
Bloody hell! Revolts in Iraq Deepen Crisis In Occupation
Commanders were surprised by the sophistication and coordination displayed by insurgents massing for attacks on armored columns on highways. On Friday, a coalition aircraft reported coming under fire from an anti-aircraft gun, which was highly unusual.
No less sobering, commanders said, were new reports of children playing roles in guerrilla attacks. In Baghdad Tuesday, a girl about 6 or 7 years old dropped an explosive from a highway overpass onto a convoy. A commander was killed in a similar incident outside Fallujah, when a convoy was ambushed after slowing for a girl leading cattle across a highway.
2004 April 15, Thursday
 | The Countdown to Hermione Granger's 18th birthday! Genius takes many forms... Be sure to check out the guestbook - so many people think that the guy is for real. Sad... |
2004 April 14, Wednesday
2004 April 13, Tuesday
 | Anniversary: Iraq 1 year later A flash slideshow by Eric Blumrich which shows some of the images from Iraq in the last four weeks. Very graphic. Don't worry though - it's getting better over there every day... |
2004 April 12, Monday
For the many ''Worst Wing'' fans out there (OK, for the ONE Worst Wing fan), I've finally made a second episode.
 | Episode 2: The Preznit. Our glorious leader comes face to face with the brutal realities of quantum mechanics. 2004, April 12, Monday. |
2004 April 10, Saturday
 | More sedition from evil liberals: Ask Professor Rumsfeld Ever wanted to learn about deductive reasoning? the nature of life? Plato's cave? the logic of math? moral relativism? Ask, and Professor Rumsfeld will enlighten you! |
For some strange reason, all those crazy hate-filled liberals at haloscan are angry with the Preznit for being on holiday, fishing, while Iraq goes to hell. Here's a funny ballad about GWB what one of them wrote:
The Bush Song
(to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies)
Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy named Bush.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove a car about.
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is.
Criminal record.
Cover-up.
Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk.
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is.
White gold.
Nose candy.
The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you up a spot in the Texas National Guard.
Cush, that is.
Country clubs.
Nose candy.
Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze,
says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, that is.
Falwell.
Jesse Helms.
Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those common folk get anywhere near polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.
Chads, that is.
Duval County.
Miami-Dade.
Before the votes were counted all the five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want our George to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how little Georgie finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is.
Illegitimate.
No moral authority.
Y'all come vote now.
Ya hear
2004 April 9, Friday
New hate mail. Looks like I pissed off another racist nutter:
| Subject: who you are Date: Fri, 9 Apr 2004 07:00:29 -0400 From: "A. Walker" <roadsassy@cinci.rr.com> All verbiage adjusted to the moral IQ of recipient If you have children, may they eventually spit on your grave. If you are an American, may you be the first to die when we are attacked by Islamics. If you have parents, may they repent for the flawed genetic material they introduced by birthing you. Cowards may be clever and talented, but they remain spineless whores and the deaths of Americans shall be etched on your withered souls. May all that you use or value that originates in America, with American genius, be forfeit. To imagine soldiers are dying for foul maggot infested pigs like you, is what is the most horrid fact. You breathe and men of war die. That is blasphemy. with absolute fucking sincerity I spit on you |
A quick google on this grunting simian turns up this delightful link. ''Ann Walker'' likes to call Arabs and Palestinians ''dogs''. What a charming advertisement for patriotism. Ann doesn't have the guts to threaten me with death - she's one of the sideways death threat artists. ''may they eventually spit on your grave''; ''may you be the first to die'', etc.
Gutless.
At least she had the courtesy to run her bile through a spell-checker. This time last year I was getting two or three of these beauties every day. My crime was the creation of a flash game which implied that the aftermath of the war in Iraq would be a mess. I was accused of ''sedition''! It's such joy to live in the land of freedom, tolerance and diversity.
Growing up in Ireland, I had several friends who were ardent supporters of the IRA. I spent many futile hours trying to persuade them that they were following an evil cause, to no avail. They thought that I was a weak kneed liberal for not supporting terrorism. Ironic, eh? At no point did I feel that my life was in the slightest danger. The idea of me being killed by the IRA would have been laughable.
Nothing can prepare a European for the intense hatred and physical menace that pervades modern American society. This filth has become part of the accepted political landscape, even prior to 911. Send ''Ann Walker'' back in a time machine to Germany in the 1930s and we all know what kind of uniform she'd be wearing.
Regarding the threats and the death-wishes: I assume that if any of these weasels had the stomach for physical violence, they'd be in uniform in Iraq or Afghanistan instead of sitting on their ever-widening asses hammering out hate-mails to cartoonists.
Blood flows in Iraq, but it's not going to stop Bush from taking a holiday on his faux ranch in Texas. Comedy fails at this point.
Thank you Jeebus for giving us Mr. Cranky. Here is his review of ''The Alamo'':
The Alamo is considered the central battle and primary rallying cry in the fight to make Texas an independent republic and, subsequently, a state of the U.S. Like I care. All Texas has ever given the rest of the country is a whole bunch of attitude and one-term presidents with a penchant for foreign wars. It's a state where toxins are good business, Ken Lay is a civic hero and it's legal to stone your own children to death as long you claim that God told you to do it. Fuck the Alamo, and fuck Texas.More links:
2004 April 7, Wednesday
It's been almost comical to listen to the American right whining about the ''poor suffering people of Iraq'' over the last year and a half. The ''War of Liberation'' was all about freeing them from tyranny, and establishing human rights in the middle east. Blah de blah de blah.
It always sounded like claptrap, and the last week has proven it. Following the murder of the four mercenaries in Fallujah, the right wing websites lit up with furious right-wingers calling for the annhialation of the Sunni Triangle. ''Nuke 'em'' was the common theme.
It wasn't just the internet idiots - I heard the former Secretary of State under Bush I, Lawrence Eagleburger on Fox News calling for a massive attack in Fallujah. He seemed happy with the idea of a lot of deaths to ''pacify'' the town. Well, the American right wingers sure have plenty to be happy about today:
Some light relief, sort of:
2004 April 6, Tuesday
Remember citizens, in these times of strife, it is important to preserve the sanctity of our precious bodily fluids. I recommend taking a week long holiday in your Texass ranch while the world burns.
 | Thanks to Joel Grim for telling me about EbolaWorld ''Sam T'' has animated an amazing number of cartoons, many about your favorite Preznit. Click on the little Bush-head on the bottom right of the ebolaworld home-page to get to the George W. Bush sitcom. There are five episodes so far, all very funny. They're big, and may be slow to load on a dial-up, but it's worth the wait. What are you waiting for? GO THERE NOW! |
2004 April 5, Monday
It's such a relief that Iraqis are welcoming democracy with open arms, just as Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld/Wolfowitz/Perle promised us. Unfortunately it's firearms. Oh well. Can't be right 100% of the time, eh Georgie Boy?
You may have heard about the actors' strike currently affecting The Simpsons. It now appears that the show's producers are looking for new actors to replace the familiar voices.
Grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre, unprecedented.
You must see and hear the mind-boggling proof for yourself!
2004 April 2, Friday
Fun Fun Fun...
2004 April 1, Thursday
Many regular readers may recall my recent rant about the unfortunate practice of ''testing'' animators for new jobs. This lunacy has spread through the industry like cancer of the sphincter. Check out these fuckers. This wretched posting sums up everything that is sick with the employment scene (and the current mentality of employers):
Character Animator - Flash basedIf I didn't know any better, I'd think that this was some kind of April Fools Day joke. Where do we start?
GXI Inc.
Job description:
Character animators, drop that mop and get back to your computers!
Marin county game developer is looking for a few top tier character animators well versed in Flash for upcoming game work. If your animation shows your ability to communicate the subtle difference between a belly laugh and a sarcastic laugh we\'re interested in you. Content is targeted to pre-school and grade school children. If you\'re not interested in \"cute\" please look elsewhere. This production work is highly detailed with a demanding client, so no \"Prima Donnas\" please.
Requirements/skills:
The ideal candidate for this position will have the following qualifications:
* A demo reel (or URL) showing character-based Flash animation
* Solid work habits that include the demonstrated ability to meet deadlines and be flexible enough to \"shift gears\" mid-way through a project with a minimum of handholding.
* Mastery in using Flash as a character animation tool. You will be tested.
* Proficiency in Photoshop (a lot) & De-Babelizer (somewhat).
* Layout and design sense a BIG plus.
If this opportunity is what you have been looking for, and you want to be a part of this energetic and creative studio, please email your resume, hourly rate and samples of your work to the e-mail address above.
Due to the high volume of resumes received, only candidates meeting the position and salary requirements will be contacted for interviews.
Character animators, drop that mop and get back to your computers!Ho, ho. We're all out of work and working as janitors. Hardship is funny in BushWorld, see? Cunty McFuckwit has to remind us that we're desperate - that way we'll be better prepared to swallow their golden piss stream:
If your animation shows your ability to communicate the subtle difference between a belly laugh and a sarcastic laugh we\'re interested in you.WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN? Other than the prick who wrote it has NO FUCKING IDEA ABOUT ANIMATION.
If you\'re not interested in \"cute\" please look elsewhere.Actually, I'm not interested in working for a \"walking lump of ARSE\". That would be YOU, jobs@gxinc.com.
This production work is highly detailed with a demanding client, so no \"Prima Donnas\" please.The only \"Prima Donnas\" are the ones writing this frigging ad, methinks. I'm sure the mental health specialists reading this will have opinions on the peculiar use of the ''\'' symbol.
* Mastery in using Flash as a character animation tool. You will be tested.Well, at least they're upfront about THE TEST. I hope they find enough Mastery out there for all those sarcastic laughs that they'll be animating. "You will be tested." Sounds a bit like Yoda. It should have read: "Tested, you will be."
The only thing that these wankstains are testing is my patience.
Due to the high volume of resumes received, only candidates meeting the position and salary requirements will be contacted for interviews.Ha Ha! All you animation wankers are out of work, so we can make you crawl on broken glass in our executive car-park and force you to \EAT THE CORN OUT OF OUR SHIT!\
Check out their hideous website. They might want to consider hiring some web-usability experts before taking on all those masterful flash animators...
There's a permanent link to this rant here.
In honor of ye Olde April Fools Day, here be four classic interwebbe pranks/hoaxes/thingies found on the museum of hoax websites:
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