email archives		WORLD WAR 6 is HERE! Silly wingnuts... "Between brain and mouth there is no interlocutor". Where to start? Duh: IT'S WORLD WAR THREE, BABY! Or - is it??? ...during the past week or so, with the Israeli/Hezbollah crisis in full swing, Newt Gingrich, the former speaker of the United States House of Representatives, is using any platform available to him to convince the public that the U.S. is engaged in World War III... ...Hyping World War III isn't new to conservatives. Some have even argued that the real World War III was the Cold War against the Soviet Union, and that now the U.S. is engaged in World War IV. Hang on, hang on, people. If we're renaming wars, I want to play! The Seven Years' War (1756-1763) was between European powers, but fought all over the world - Europe, Coastal Africa, India, North America and the Philippines. If THAT isn't a World War, I don't know what is. Plus, I'm a HUGE FAN of the Aubrey/Maturin novels as well as Sharpe's Rifles, and I can tell you that the Napoleonic Wars were way more of a World War than this pissing contest in Iraq and Lebanon. Remember Dermot's #1 rule: you can't have a World War without inviting the Russians. So here's my easy-to-understand plan for the new World War naming convention:             7 Years War (1756-1763) = World War 1        Napoleonic Wars (~1799-1815) = World War 2             World War 1 (1914-1918) = World War 3             World War 2 (1937-1945) = World War 4                Cold War (1945-1990) = World War 5    War on Terror (2001-the rapture) = World War 6 I want WW4 (formerly WW2) to be dated from the Japanese invasion of China in 1937...that makes more sense. I was toying with the idea of naming the 9,000 B.C. war between Ancient Altantis and The Frogmen of Meluria as the first world war, but Newt Gingrich and David Icke talked me out of it. I hope that ends this needless confusion for once and for all. "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed -- and hence clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary." -- H.L. Mencken Back to more news stories.