Hate mail, page 7
Subject: You game really blows
I played you game the gulfwar 2. and it sucked nuts. I should FUCKING FIND YOU AND BUST A CAP IN YOUR ASS YOU FUCKING PACIFIST. FIRST OFF I'D PASS A FIST THROUGH A PACIFIST YA JACKASS. YOU'VE PROBALLY NEVER SEEN WAR YOU SHIT HOLE. I HOPE YOU GET RAN OVER BY A MOTHERFUCKING CEMENT MIXER YOU STUPID DICK WAD. THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU MOTHER MUST HAVE BEEN FUCKED INCREDILBLBY HARD BY JACKASSES FOR YOU TO COME UP WITH A GAME LIKE THAT. pUSHING CONTINUE OVER AND OVER SUCKS FUCKING NUTS. AND YOU FUCKING PANSY ASS BITCH WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU COME UP WEITH A GAME LIKE THAT YOU BASTARD. WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING TAKE YOUR MONKEY ASS INTO IRAQ AND JOIN THEIR COMMUNIST SHIT. YOU SHITHEAD. I SUPORT BUSH AND THIS WAR WILL MAKE A DIFFERANCE. SO FUCK YOU AND FUCK ALL YOUR PACIFIST FRIENDS. YOU PROBALLY DON'T FUCKING MAKE ENOUGH FUCKING MONEY TO SUPORT YOUR FUCKING FAMILY. WAIT YOUR GAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE ONE. YOU COCKSUCKER. TO CONCLUDE FUCK YOU AND HAVE ANICEDAY.
This message is so great that I almost suspect that it's a hoax - in short, it's a classic. I suppose I could explain to the emailer that Bush's toughest war advocates in the Pentagon are former Trotskyites. (Trotsky was one of those nasty Bolshevik men in Russia in the olden times who killed poor Tsar Nicklaus).
Now the funny thing is this: how do you know that someone is a "former" Trotskyite? It's not exactly like changing your favorite brand of cheese. What if they're still Trotskyites, and they've infiltrated the pentagon, tricking their puppet "president" into a reckless war that will unleash a global proletarian revolution against their capitalist oppressors?
You didn't think of THAT, did you, you frigging moron?
Before we know where we are, it'll be Five-Year-Plans, the Lumpen Proletariat will own the means of production, Workers Co-operatives will replace Genetically modified Frankenstein foods with healthy life-giving crops of delicious beetroot. AH! Speed the day, my pentagon comrades!!!
To quote from the English Communist Revolutionary John Betjeman:
I have a Vision of the Future, chum,
The workers' flats in fields of soya beans
Tower up like silver pencils, score on score:
And Surging Millions hear the Challenge come
From microphones in communal canteens
"No Right! No Wrong! All's perfect, evermore!"
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