archives
Everyone loves to get hate mail. Here's some of the best that I've received over the years.
Some purple faced war lovers have criticised me for posting and mocking hate mail. One even called me a "Stalinist". That is correct; one of Stalin's most barbaric tortures was to to publically ridicule his political opponents and call them names.
There's a common thread here. The emails are either abusive, insulting, threatening or offensive. I don't think that mouth-breathers should be allowed to use computers, let alone vote or reproduce. It's really simple when you think about it.
Page 1 "Why don't you move to Iraq? Communist hippy."If you haven't been here before, the mail is mostly in response to my gulf war 2 game.
Page 2 "Your game sucks bollocks and so do you"
Page 3 "Bite my pimple infested ASS!!!!!!"
Page 4 "Go back to your stupid Ireland and leave us along."
Page 5 "Ireland's army only plays soldier for Mel Gibson"
Page 6 "now America's a winner again"
Page 7 "I SUPORT BUSH AND THIS WAR WILL MAKE A DIFFERANCE."
Page 8 "Keep up the good work,jackass."
Page 9 "may you be the first to die when we are attacked by Islamics"
Page 10 "you might even prefer Bush with tears of joy in your eyes"
Page 11 "my number 1 fan thinks I'm an idiot!"
Page 12 "hairless monkey europeans are racists!"
Page 13 "lol you tard is erved 3 years, one of those in iraq."
Back in November 2002 I made the above mentioned game to show a worst case scenario about a war in Iraq. I was getting weary of the TV news war fever. There were real risks to war that weren't being articulated by the talking heads. So I made the game as a vehicle to illustrate some of the dangers.
Originally the game page had a blurb about the game being "99.9999% accurate, based on sophisticated semiotic analysis." A sensible person woud recognise that for what it is: humorous BS. Sadly, a huge number of people thought that I was being serious. Yikes.
Others had a problem with the fact that it's not technically a game. Well Du-Uh. Technically it's a "clickable slide show". Try saying that fifty times a day.
You'll notice something odd about these messages. With only a couple of exceptions, there are no paragraph breaks...just one long breathless string of gibberish. It's got to be some kind of neurological condition. Or maybe they've all finished reading "Finnegan's Wake" by James Joyce.
My greatest fear for the future is this: Clearly our gene pool is defective. These emails prove it. We need to improve our stock, so that we will be properly prepared for The Invasion of The Marshmallow Men from Procyon 4. Adapt or Die!
With that in mind, onward intrepid reader!
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