archives
(In which I am attacked by a member of The Cato Institute!)
and
Prove that BEING A LAWYER DON'T MAKE YOU SMART.
While ego-surfing I fell upon a most amusing critique of my Gulf War Game, which I made in 2002.
The review is by a Cato Institute clever-clogs by the name of Dave Kopel. I was tempted to ignore his bizarre ramblings (and veiled accusations of anti-semitism); after all, anyone who would take time out to attack an anti-war flash "game" rather than the neo-cons in the whitehouse responsible for the Iraq quagmire has to be on shaky ground, psychologically.
Although the Cato Institute claims to be Libertarian, it's clear from Dave's writings that he's a Bush-loving conservative. It's a pose that some of them take in order to sound more reasonable...a bit like the way American liberals call themselves "progressives", to avoid being beaten to death by brownshirts.
We start with factual errors - a result of basic carelessness on Kopel's part:
| In late 2002, Californian Dermot O’Connor released a web-based wargame called Gulf War 2.5 about the impending invasion of Iraq. According to the Feb. 20, 2003 ElectricNews.net, the game was made available at O’Connor’s website, www.idleworm.com. Today, though, it’s no longer listed among the available games at the site. And no wonder. |
The game has remained on my site since 2002. At no point have I removed it. (That's it on the lower right side of the screen - old things on the bottom, new on top). Around November 2004 until about a year ago I pulled the thumb-nail from the right navbar, as I wanted to "push" my newer content. I'm sorry that Dave seems to think I should permanently link to all of my content on my home page, FOR EVER.
(NOTE TO DAVE: Your home page is a bit, shall we say, cluttered).
A moment of searching would find the game. All Dave had to do was go to this great new search engine called GOOGLE and type in "GULF WAR GAME" and see what comes up first! Research, Dave, it's called research. Then again, it's easier to imply that your opponents are cowards. Don't let the truth get in the way of an attack, that's the neoCon way!
Now we enter the Twilight Zone. Dave critiques the game, even though he hasn't played it himself. His sole source of information is a review of the game. He is reviewing a review! Goo-goo Ga-Ga Woo-woo-woop!
Listen ye to Dave speak:
According to ENN, the game had “only one possible outcome.” Although the invasion of Iraq was “quick and easy,” Gulf War 2 then mandated the following events: “Iraqi anthrax attacks on Israel and a nuclear strike on Baghdad in response. From there, warring Middle East nations all vie to carve up the remains of Iraq, with Iran invading in the South and a Kurdish revolt in the North. Soon, militants in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon, Syria and Saudi Arabia rise up and nuclear weapons are spread throughout the region. War between India and Pakistan ensues, while Iran and Saudi Arabia contemplate war with the US.”
 Not one of Gulf War 2’s mandates came true. Saddam may not have even had any anthrax. And the problems that did ensue in Iraq (terrorist warfare by Ba’athist remnants and al Qaeda foreigners, with logistical support from Iran and Syria) were not among Gulf War 2’s range of outcomes. |
Regarding the sunni insurgency, I assumed that Bush and his men would ally with the Ba'athists, not the Shi-ites, as the Ba'athists are a secular organisation and would have been more pragmatic about negotiation (as opposed to the Shia, with their Iranian ties). The Shia have not forgotten their betrayal by Bush Sr. in GW1. This was a major error on Washington's part. I over-estimated their intelligence. I have not made this mistake since.
Regarding the absence of anthrax - indeed, this is curious. Where would I get the crazy notion that Saddam had anthrax? - Oh yeah, Bush, Cheney, Rice, Powell and Rummy told us over and over again that the Iraqis had it! Silly old me - trusting the Preznit. Fool me once, shame on you.
Let me make this simple for you Dave, just in case I can hammer the reality through your thick skull:
| "Simply stated, There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction." -- Vice President Dick Cheney, 8/16/02 |
Anthrax Ice Cream.
On to his other comment, that "Not one of Gulf War 2’s mandates came true." If you want to be pedantic about it, events haven't unfolded in the exact sequence predicted. Just a question though, Dave - you are aware that we're on the brink of war with Iran, and that Turkey is in a heightened state of crisis with the Kurds, AQ has attacked Saudi refineries and American popularity in the Middle East is somewhere around 8%? WAKEY WAKEY DAVEY!!!
Kopel misses the point of the piece completely. My aim was to offer a counter-scenario to the one being shoved down our throats by the MSM 24/7. Let's cast our minds back to the happy months of early 2003:
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"The Iraqi people understand what this crisis is about. Like the people of France in the 1940s, they view us as their hoped-for liberator."
--Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, March 11, 2003 |
| "I believe demolishing Hussein's military power and liberating Iraq would be a cakewalk..." -- Defense Policy Board Member Ken Aldelman, 2/13/02 |
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"A year from now I'd be surprised if there's not some grand square in Baghdad that is named after President Bush."
-- Former Pentagon Advisor Richard Perle, 9/22/03 |
| "We're dealing with a country that can really finance its own reconstruction and relatively soon." -- Deputy Secretary of Defense, Paul Wolfowitz, 3/27/03 |
| "Iraq will not require sustained aid." -- OMB, Director Mitch Daniels, 3/28/03 |
My point is, Dave, these are the people who made monumentally incorrect predictions. THESE are the people that you should be attacking. Whatever you think of the accuracy of my predictions, my mistakes have killed the following number of people:
What do I know? I'm just an ignorant cartoonist. Let's hear more from the experts:
| "Peacekeeping requirements in Iraq might be much lower than historical experience in the Balkans suggests. There's been none of the record in Iraq of ethnic militias fighting one another that produced so much bloodshed and permanent scars in Bosnia." Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz, Feb. 27, 2003 |
| Now Gulf War 2.5 never pretended to be a sophisticated simulation; it worked through Flash animations. And in response to an irate player, O’Connor posted a disclaimer on his website, “Technically, Gulf War 2.5 is NOT a game.” Instead, “It’s a satirical cartoon.” |
| Even so, Gulf War 2.5 got respectful treatment as a realistic game from Reuters, Yahoo, and Excite, garnering newspaper coverage from Dubai to the U.S. to New Zealand. (emphasis mine) |
The "game" was one of the more intelligent viral crazes - and it got attention in the MSM because of that. Most of the viral fads are plain Dumb - funny, but dumb. Call my "game" wrong, leftie-nuts, but it ain't dumb. You's gots to read a whole lot of words.
The "game" did something rare - it took a lot of detailed information and reduced it to a format that was accessible to people not willing to read depressing news analysis for six or seven hours a day. You can see why Washington elitists like Dave would hate it with a passion. They like having the power to convince most of the population that Saddam worked with Osama on 911, and detest upstart punks who creep into their territory. The above passage drips with a contempt for anyone not in the inner circle. Who, he's saying, do I think I am?
Well, I'm not a creep who works for a right-wing think-tank.
Having spent hours every day reading war forecasts from websites quite diverse in political affiliation (left, right, green, libertarian), I decided to use the visual technique of Civilisation 2 (Sid Meier's classic game), to frame the information that I was reading. I didn't pull the moves out of my ass; they were assembled from case scenarios from a huge range of sources. (Note that Dave fails to mention Civ2 in his piece. I guess our game expert hasn't played it). The project took about 4 or 5 weeks of tedious work to assemble, and another six weeks to optimise. Slow and boring in the extreme. Try animating those little men on an isometric grid move-by-move, until you have several hundred layers of art; it ain't easy Dave, and it's not something you do lightly. The work was a labor of love; I made no money from it. No ads. No t-shirts. No "monetising". Generous souls made donations during the peak traffic, which helped to pay my bandwidth, some food, rent for a month. Not enough to pay the weekly lunch bill for a member of the Cato Institute, but I was humbled and honored by the generosity of complete strangers.
I had very little savings left, and was a stereotypical "starving artist". And no Dave, I've never claimed a handout from your country; I was legally entitled to unemployment benefit, and didn't bother. I'm a bit of a freedom-lover you see - I don't care for dealing with The State. I guess I'm more of a Libertarian than you'll ever be.
Here's where Dave unleashes the full force of his lawyerly charm:
| Now it’s easy to dismiss O’Connor as an angry nut, because he is. His website is filled with the hatred and vicious language which characterize the anti-American fringe of today’s so-called “peace movement.” He says that Bush is a Nazi, the U.S. is “the Fourth Reich,” and warns his readers about the Zionists. |
I'm not getting into the Zionist issue here; suffice to say I despise the actions of the state of Israel, which are criminal. I have no hesitation in criticising Zionist politicians. It must be lovely to be able to eat your foie gras while you ignore the stench of cooked Lebanese children, Dave.
Read the archives of my site, and you'll find plenty of attacks on Mel Gibson and his ilk. I am not an anti-Semite, and I pray for the day when the tag "anti-Semite" is no longer used as a stick with which to beat those of us who are opposed to Isaeli policy. In other words, Dave: GROW UP.
I haven't just called Bush a nazi, I've done cartoons about it. And even made election posters, as well as supported him in the 2004 election (as the best man to run the Evil Empire into the ground - destroy the Death Star from within!)
It might be of interest that Bush's grand-daddy was strangely friendly with the Nazis. This is a fact, not a "conspiracy theory".
| "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." President George W. Bush Dec. 18, 2000 |
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Intensifying Nationalism: CHECK! Disdain for Human Rights: CHECK! Scapegoating of Enemies: CHECK! Rampant Sexism: ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT Supremacy of the Military (Mission Accomplished): CHECK! Controlled Mass Media: (not 100%, but getting there); Obsession with National Security: CHECK! Religion and Government are intertwined: GETTING BETTER EVERY DAY! Corporate Power is Protected: CHECK! Labor power is suppressed: CHECK! Disdain for intellectuals and the arts: CHECK! (American Idol, anyone?) Obsession with Crime and Punishment: CHECK! (We execute retards - yeeHAW!) Rampant Cronyism and Corruption: CHECK! Fraudulent Elections: CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! |
Now, what else? A short list off the top of my head, in no particular order: alleged quote of all time (via a former Reaganite):
| "Stop throwing the Constitution in my face, It's just a goddamned piece of paper!" George W. Bush |
| But if Gulf War 2.5 is a deservedly-forgotten effort which attracted more attention from credulous journalists than from serious wargamers, consider one of the best-selling wargames from the mid-1980s: Balance of Power. Designed by Chris Crawford for the Mac, it was ported to the PC, and grossed over ten million dollars. |
Here's a graph which shows the spike in visitors to this site in 2003. Note that idleworm is currently ranked around 120,000 (not too bad, could be better). Dave's site is far behind mine, at 578,000. That doesn't really signify anything; his site has only been online since April 12, 2000, so he hasn't really had time to build up a following. It sure is fun to be called "forgotten" by a guy whose site is 450,000 places lower on the internet pole than mine. That takes balls of brass, and/or complete stupidity.
I'd like to say one thing about the people on each side of the "War" debate: folks, you have to be consistent. I'm not talking about intellectual consistency here - I mean something a LOT more serious. You have to follow your beliefs in reality. It's not enough to sit behind a keyboard and "tap tap tap", and think that's enough. If, like Dave (I'm making assumptions about him, as he did about me) you believe that the war is a good thing, then that's fine. Just do one thing:
Not the air force, not the navy. THE FUCKING ARMY - they're the ones who're doing the real heavy lifting. Put your ass where your mouth is, and join. Too old? Join an NGO, and get moving. I'm not kidding. I'm sick of the 101st fighting keyboard brigade.
REPETITIVE STRAIN INJURY FROM PLAYING WAR GAMES ON YOUR PC DOES NOT MAKE YOU A PURPLE-HEART PATRIOT, YOU FAT, SLACK-MINDED FRUIT-LOOPS.
It can't be clearer than that, surely?
Part of me wants Bush to attack Iran and set off a real war - then they'll have to draft everyone: you won't be able to hide your pampered asses in your air conditioned MacMansions - you'll be out there with the rust-belt kids in some God-forsaken dustbowl, having your genitals shot to ribbons. It's what you deserve.
Oops! That's hateful anti-American speech ... we can't have that in the Land of the Free.
So Dave, you enjoy your beautiful life, your fine wine, your goose liver and your dinner parties with your clever friends. Have fun ruling the world, and looking down your nose at the little people. I'm just grateful for the internet - the only connection left with reality, my refuge from loathsome propaganda written by insulated know-nothing whores like yourself.
As to the other side of the coin, the anti-war, bush-hating people: You cannot adopt that pose without acting on it in your daily life. The time has come to plug yourself free from the Grid. I'm not talking through my ass; I've left the U.S. and moved to a small town; I'm living car-free, phone-free, fridge-free, TV-free, meat-free, stress-free. Avoid plastic (cards, as well as the stuff itself). Stop eating food grown on the other side of the planet. Stop buying things made by slaves in Asian sweatshops. Don't buy chocolate, as the industry is infested by child slavery.
Our entire way of life in the West is the ultimate drug, and weaning off of it is tough. But you must start somewhere. If you're unwilling to begin, then SHUT THE FUCK UP (to quote Bill O'Reilly); you don't have a right to bitch and moan about Bush's war. He's doing it all for you.
You CAN do it. It's not easy, but it's very rewarding. You don't have to do it overnight, but one day at a time. Stop buying commercial junk that you don't need and use the money to start the process of becoming self sufficient, before it's too late. Get out of debt, and off the grid. Do it like your life depends on it, because it does.
I don't call these creeps fascists for rhetorical effect; they are fascists - ones with smiley faces - but they're still authoritarian thugs in suits. They scare me shitless, and if you're not freaked out by them, then you need to take stock of where we seem to be heading.
Remember, every time you flip on a switch, Dick Cheney gets a stiffie. If that won't motivate you, then nothing will.
Signing off (for now),
Dermot O'Connor,
"angry nut"
"anti-American"
anti-Semite (allegedly).
P.S. Dave - great news man! I think I've figured out a way for you to serve your country without risking your ass. The military needs lawyers. There'd be little chance of actual physical harm, and you'd get to serve the nation you love so very, very much.
Of course, Military lawyers make MUCH LESS MONEY than civilians. I'm sure, however, that your Patriotic zeal will overcome your baser desires.
I await to hear of your new adventures in uniform!
Yours in Christ, etc., etc., etc. :-P
You can discuss this rant in the forum.
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